Anthony Dreams of Jeannie
by binkeybella
Summary: No, not Jeanne Benoit. Jeannie as in 'I Dream of Jeannie'. After falling out of a tree while following Gibbs' misguided orders, Tony falls asleep on Abby's futon. This is a birthday fic for the wonderful scousemuz1k. (Tony is Anthony Nelson; McGee is Roger; Abby is Jeannie; Cate is Jeannie Two, her sister; Gibbs is Haji, Chief of All Genies; Ducky is Dr. Bellows.)


_**How many of you out there in fanfic land remember the wonderful series 'I Dream of Jeannie'? Larry Hagman was Tony Nelson, and I have always thought MW would make a great re-make Tony.**_

"Let me get this straight – cause I'm pretty sure I'm hearing this all wrong... you - took belly dancing lessons? As in – harem pants and – and toe rings and -"

"I didn't do recitals, Tony!" Cate chided. "It was for relaxation, to de-stress from when I was Secret Service."

"But – like – you – belly danced..."

"Well, _yeah, _Tony, that was the whole point of the class. It was like – tai chi for my generation. What's the big deal?"

"Well, Catie, the big deal is, I can't picture you that relaxed, I mean – ya gotta be kinda – mellow, and – laid back for belly dancing. I don't think I've ever seen you be either one, except for the time you drank too much of that plum wine at the Chinese restaurant., then you were, like -"

"I didn't know it had such a kick, Tony, and it wasn't funny, I had to take a nap on Abby's futon, I slept for two hours straight, what if we'd gotten a case?"

"You woulda stayed behind and been put on report." Gibbs announced, sweeping through the bullpen. "Right now yer goin' with Tony and me to Rock Creek, report of dead body dressed in cammos sitting in a tree."

"Just sitting there, Boss? Like, how's he staying in the tree if he's dead?"

"Guess we'll find out, DiNozzo, go gas the truck, I'll call Ducky."

_NCIS*NCIS*NCIS*_

"Why on _earth _was he up there without some sort of ladder or assistance? He could have very well broken his neck, he may be -" Ducky groused, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Duck, he'll be fine, he just gave himself a goose egg." Gibbs griped back. Truth was, though, the M.E was right, Tony shouldn't have been up in the stupid tree by himself trying to loosen the victim's clothing that was caught on a sharp stump from a broken limb. He had asked his boss to wait for the evidence truck to arrive so they could use the ladder and safety equipment but Gibbs had been impatient, trying to figure the best way to get the poor Marine situated properly without disturbing anything on him. DiNozzo had tilted his head and sighed, then headed up the tree like a monkey. Next thing they knew, he was coming down from the tree like an apple, only a lot bigger, and with the wind knocked out of him.

Right now Tony was lying under the tree, Gibbs' windbreaker under his head and a blanket over him while Ducky examined him for further injuries than just his 'goose egg'.

"I suppose Jethro told you to just '_shimmy up the damned tree and quit arguing' _or something equally as professional as that." Ducky grumbled quietly to his dazed patient, but Gibbs heard him anyways. And yes, the M.E had about hit the nail on the head for what he'd told his SFA to do.

"No big deal, Ducky." Tony murmured back, wincing at the ice pack being applied to the bruised bump on his forehead. "Just need to catch my breath and I can get back up there."

"Nonsense, Anthony, you'll do no such thing. Jethro will either shimmy up that tree himself or he'll call Agent Pacci's team in, they are at elevenses at the moment and I'm sure would be happy to take over, or at least lend a few hands. _You, _my dear boy, will either go home and have one of us check on you periodically, or go back to the Navy Yard and stay with Abigail in her lab. Those are your two options."

"Abby's lab." was all Tony offered, not really feeling like arguing with either older man at the moment. He had had quite a large breakfast not too long before, and it was all beginning to roil around and make him feel queasy. He absolutely refused to barf at a crime scene, no matter what the reason.

"Cate, stay here with Ducky, shoot and sketch, secure the scene, I'll call Pacci and drive DiNozzo back to the Yard." He wrapped an arm in under Tony's shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position, and before Tony could raise a fuss, guided him to the Dodge and had him situated in the front seat.

Back at Abby's lab, the goth tech soon had her young friend blanketed and propped up on pillows that she kept stashed in her office closet, assuring Gibbs that she would not forget to check on him every couple of hours or so. Ducky had assured that if indeed Tony had a concussion, then it was pretty mild, and not something to worry about other than the pain it caused. Leaning down to surreptitiously inspect the bruised lump on Tony's forehead, Gibbs clasped a hand around the back of his SFA's neck and gave a gentle squeeze.

"Ducky was right, should've waited for more equipment instead of making you try walking on air. Rest for a while, we'll be back in a little bit."

"Yeah, okay." Tony answered morosely. "Still don't see what the big deal is about working with a bump on my head. Not like the first time."

"No, but it is the first time you've had a team mate care enough to make sure you don't _this_ time. Just cause you have before, doesn't mean you should. Sit, keep Abs company, don't give 'er a hard time."

Tony nodded and went back to the game he'd been playing on his phone, and Gibbs knew the kid was uncomfortable with all the fussing, so he stopped and strode out of the lab with a wave of his hand and a 'Later!' called out behind his shoulder. His second watched him leave, then settled down a little further into the cushions and pillows. He _was _kind of tired, but not all from the goose egg he'd just acquired. They'd just worked back to back cases with little time to catch much sleep, and it felt kind of nice to kick back a little and close his eyes for a while. Just a while. Then he'd be back ready to help Gibbs.

It seemed he had just drifted off when he felt someone shaking him by the shoulder. It couldn't have been two hours already, the supposed obligatory wake-up time for concussion checks.

"Tony? Tony, wake up, I need your help."

"Huh?" Tony rubbed a hand down his face to try to clear his head from sleepy spider-webs. "McGee? What're you doing here? Is everybody alright?" He looked around, not seeing anything very familiar.

They definitely weren't in Abby's lab anymore.

"Who's McGee? Tony, it's me, Roger, come on, get with it here, I need your help! I said the wrong thing to Haji and now he's going to turn me into a boot jack, and he will, you know he will, he's really mad!"

"Uhhh. Okay. Roger. Who's Haji? I don't remember any terrorist cases..." Tony rubbed at his face some more, hoping it would help him to understand what his probie was saying to him.

"Who's _Haji_? Who's _Haji_? He's – Tony, what's the matter with you, you of all _people _know who Haji is! And he'll make my life a misery if I don't make things right with him! You have to talk to him cause Jeannie won't help me on this!"

"Jeannie? She your new – wait a minute. Tony. Roger. Haji. Jeannie. Cool! Barbara Eden was _hot _as Jeannie!"

"Barbara? Eden? What the heck are you talking about, Tony, did you drink too much of that wine Jeannie's sister brought last night? Cause it made _me _say things I don't even wanna _think _about, and one of them was to Haji. About Jeannie. And he slapped me on the head, _hard, _ and told me if I didn't start learning his rules, I was never gonna be able to hang out with you guys!"

"Ahhh. Rule Number Twelve, right?"

"Yeah! See? You _do _know what's going on! And he likes you best, Tony, well, along with Jeannie, and you're Jeannie's best friend, so -"

"So Haji – is he tall, got salt n' pepper hair, weird cut like Moe from the Three Stooges?"

"Yes, Tony, why're you asking such dumb questions? You've gotta talk to him for me, cause I really like Jeannie, and I – well, I think she likes _me_."

"Huh. Well. Where is the great and powerful Gih – uh, Haj man now?"

"Where he always is, down in his basement. He was really pissed, Tony, so be careful when you go down there, the last astronaut that came down there when he was mad is propping up his kitchen table in the form of a table leg!"

Tony grinned a wide smile at that proclamation, and pulled on his shoes.

"Aww, now Pro- uh, Roger, that's just not true, Haji would never really do that to anybody. He threatens, and makes a big show, but he wouldn't ever turn me into a table leg. Might head slap me to the moon, but never a table leg. Waste of good talent. Might turn me into a boat, though. The Anthony D. -er, Nelson. He'd like that well enough, though he wouldn't have me to do his grunt work. Come on, let's head out there."

"Buh – but – it'll only make him more mad if we both show up! I'm going back to work, they're installing that new computer today and -"

"And tell me, Roger, is this computer like, the size of a room? Of a big room?"

"Well _yeah, _Tony, where else would they _put _it, on the top of one of their desks? Jeepers, Tony, you really need to get better acquainted with the new technology coming along, you're gonna get lost in the shuffle and get replaced by guys who are way smarter than you when it comes to computers!"

"Can it, Roger, I know stuff that no computer can ever teach anybody, and what happens if the power goes out in a hurricane or something, can they still do math problems with a pad and pencil?"

"Uhh – I dunno, Tony, and right now, I don't care, I just need to not become a boot jack for Haji's size elevens, you _know _all the places he tromps with those things, yesterday he was at a riding stable."

Tony grinned again, trying to picture Tim – er, Roger, being stood on by a hundred eighty pounds of Haji muscle and then having horse manure scraped between his teeth from the man's boot heel. Well, Tony himself was familiar enough with the feel of 'Haji's' weight bearing down on him when he'd screwed up or taken an unnecessary risk, and certainly had taken enough crap from the man the past year or so they'd been together as a team. Maybe Roger needed some experience as a boot jack himself if he wanted to live in the world of Jeannies and Hajis.

"Well, I'll see what I can do, Roge, but you know how he feels about Ab – er, Jeannie – er, which Jeannie is it we're talking about, Jeannie One or her sister? The brunette or the raven-haired beauty?"

"Jeannie One, you _know _her sister intimidates me way too much, Tony, why would you think I would ever want to go out with her?"

"Just making sure, Roge, and she scares the hell out of _me, _too, so better you stick with Jeannie One and leave her sister to the Colonels and the Generals and the Presidents. Come on, let's go stick our – well, my – head into the lion's mouth."

CUT TO HAJI'S LAIR (Gibbs' basement)

"Hey, Haj, " Tony greeted the Chief Genie casually as he descended into the lair. Honestly, he didn't really know _this _version of Gibbs, and that he wouldn't actually turn him into a table leg or boot jack or boat. But the man _had _been responsible for making him fly without benefit of a space capsule, so he owed him. Had even apologized to him in his back-handed way.

"Anthony." Haji answered, not looking up from a miniature boat he was examining. It was the same as Gibbs' other boats, but complete, and small enough to carry up the stairs in his arms. Huh. Maybe a birthday gift for some kid he knew.

"Roger says you're going to turn him into a boot jack. Do you think that's really necessary?"

"Wants to date Jeannie. I hardly know the guy. Not even part-genie, just some egghead from NASA."

"Well, I'm thinking Jeannie is smart enough and old enough to make her own choices when it comes to dating eggheads, and really, she could do a lot worse, she could still be going out with that creepy guy from the space museum." Wait. Why would he know anything about a guy from the...ah well, not important. He pushed on, not knowing why, as he hardly knew Roger himself – he'd only worked with the guy a few times. But Roger seemed to think he could plead his case to Haji. "And Roger is a known quantity, you know, better the devil you know than the one you don't. And you know Jeannie, the more you try to keep her from doing something, the more determined she is to do it. Better to just let her – get him out of her system. If she sticks with him in the end, and he lives through _us, _then maybe he's worth keeping around."

"Hmmm..." was all Haji said as he contemplated the expertly made craft in front of him. "Gonna take her out for a tour this weekend, Anthony, you can come with if you want."

Tony stared at the mini-yacht on the work shop counter. Well. He'd always wanted to go sailing with Gibbs, but something had always happened that it didn't work out, and they only had just so much down-time. But, that tiny little boat? What the hell was _that_ about?

"Uh – yeah, sure. Sounds great. So we're good with Roger, then, Haj? You won't turn 'im into a boot jack or table leg?"

"Gotta threaten 'im with somethin' good, Anthony. Head slaps don't help with him, he's a little what my boss called 'sphincter challenged' – have to really scare 'im to get his attention cause he can only tihink in a straight line. He'll get cured of _that _some if he comes on board with us. That reminds me, Ducky Bellows is looking for you, wants to give you your annual psyche exam. I know he's a little off-center himself, but don't go hassling him, you can't get anything by him anyways."

"Uhh...no, that's for sure, B- Haj, he's certainly got our number."

"Jeannie Two was looking for you earlier, said you promised to change the oil in her car for her."

"Jeze, Boss, can't she just do it herself, she's a freaking genie just like her sister -"

"She wants to cook dinner for you, Anthony, thinks you're getting too skinny and wants to make sure that bump on your head from yesterday gets taken care of. You know yer like a little brother to her. And what the hell were you doin' up in a tree anyways, whatever was up there you coulda called me and I would've gotten it down for ya. Not _that _hard-assed about using my power."

"Got it. Call you next time I need to climb a tree." Tony was still giving the small yacht in front of Haji a strange look, making the man behind it give Tony and equally strange stare.

"What else, Anthony? Something _you _need from me?"

"That's how you get them out of the basement, isn't it, Baw – er, Haji? You build them, shrink them, carry them right out the front door and to your truck, and re-size them at the marina!"

"Well yeah, Anthony, that bump on your head scramble yer brains? How I've been doing it for centuries."

"Yeah, 'course it is. Look, Roger's waiting outside in the car, I'm gonna go give him the news and to change K – Jeannie Two's oil. Talk to ya later."

"You tell Roger that if I hear one bad thing from either Jeannie about him, he's gonna be more than a boot jack, I'll rip him in half and use the other part of him for my doormat, and don't think I won't really do it."

"Ohh, I don't doubt that for a minute, Haji. And neither will he."

"I'll pick ya up at six a.m sharp, be ready to go, can't be changing the damned yacht in broad daylight."

"On it, Haji. I'll bring the beer."

Back in the classic Buick, Roger waited impatiently but hopefully as Tony climbed into the passenger's seat.

"Well, what he'd say, did you talk to him? I mean obviously he didn't get mad at you cause you're not a table leg."

"Everything's square, Roge, but you know if you do anything to hurt her and we find out about it, you're gonna have Haji, Jeannie Two, and me after you. Can you think of anything more scary than that?"

"Umm. No. Honestly, I – well, I don't plan on hurting her in any way, so it's a moot point."

"Well alright, Mr. Moot, start up this beauty and drop me off at Jeannie Twos' place, gotta change the oil and do who knows what else to her car. And you've got a hot date with her sister, so let's get a move on."

Roger started the ignition, then turned to Anthony and gave him a meaningful look.

"Thanks, Tony. I owe ya one. You're the only one besides Jeannie who can talk to Haji and not irritate him."

"Oh, we irritate him plenty, Roger, we're just not afraid of him. He's really just a big old teddy bear under that tough hide. But he _will _disembowel you if you really cross him, but you already know that or you wouldn't have come got me to do your dirty work."

"Just using the resources at my disposal to solve my problems, Tony. Just like you always do."

"Yeah, well, obviously I wasn't using them yesterday when I fell out of that tree. Why was I up there, anyways?"

"Rescuing Jeannie Two's stupid cat, don't you remember? Maybe you'd better have Dr. Bellows check you out, you've been sounding a bit 'off' all day."

"Just step on the gas pedal, Roger, I already have to see the old man about the _inside _of my head. He knows the outside of it is just as hard."

Roger smiled and merged into the busy lane of traffic, enjoying the autumn air of the ocean drifting through the windows and wondered if he would live to see his next birthday now that he had gotten his wish to court the bubbly, unpredictable Jeannie, and join in the odd, but interesting family she'd accumulated ever since Tony had found her bottle in the sands of Coco Beach last year. Tony had stayed the same old Tony Nelson, in spite of the fact that Jeannie could grant whatever wish he requested of her. He had told Roger once that some wishes just couldn't come true, that he couldn't have back those he'd lost in his life, or re-do his sad and neglectful childhood, which would be what he would really wish for if he believed she could change those things for him. Instead she simply loved him unconditionally, along with her sister, and dear friend Haji, and other than a few new pieces of furniture and a car, Tony had asked nothing more from them. And they loved him all the more for it.

Tony watched the shoreline skim by and looked forward to putting Haji's new boat out into the water for a sail down the coast. He could do this for a long time, even if he _was _an astronaut instead of a federal agent. And maybe some day he would find a gal like Jeannie for himself. He loved Jeannie and Jeannie Two dearly, and they loved him, but they were family now, not romantic partners. But he was still young, and patient, and would wait for the right one. And in the mean time, Haji would keep him on his toes and teach him the ways of Chief of the Genies. He sighned and leaned back into the car seat, closing his eyes. Still a good ten minutes to Jeannie Two's place, he'd just close his eyes and enjoy the ride.

"Tony? Tony, wake up! Tony, come on, it's Abby, ya gotta tell me stuff so when Gibbs calls I can tell 'im yer not in a coma!"

"Coma? Why would I be in a coma, Abs?"

"See? That's not a good sign, Mister! Ducky should have sent you to the hospital!"

"Abby, I'm fine. What time is it, how long have I been sleeping?"

"Nearly two hours, Tony, and you were quiet as a guy on one of Ducky's tables, you had me worried!"

"I was dreaming, Abs. I was Tony Nelson. You were -"

"Tony Nelson the astronaut? And I was Jeannie? That's wayyy cool!"

She dropped down next to him on the futon and pulled the blanket up over both of them.

"Okay. Tell me all about it. Your were Major Anthony Nelson. I was Jeannie. Ducky _had _to be goofy Doctor Bellows."

"Yup, he was."

"Who was Kate? And Gibbs? No, wait, let me figure it out. Jeannie had a sister. Um..she was Jeannie, too. I mean, Jeannie T-W-O. That would be Kate. So Gibbs would have been..hmm...no, don't tell me..Haji! He would have to be Haji! Chief of the Genies. That would leave Roger um...Rogerrr...Healy! Oh my God, Timmy! He's the perfect Roger to your Anthony! No _wonder _you didn't want to wake up! So was I Jeannie Jeannie, or was I Jeannie's sister?"

"Oh, you were Jeannie Jeannie. I had to go to Haji for Roger and ask him to let Roger take you out. He was afraid Haji was going to turn him into a boot jack! And I figured out how Gibbs gets his boats out of the basement.."

-30-

The End


End file.
